CouplesNotes » healthy family http://www.couplesnotes.com/wordpress The place for relationship rescue and repair Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:54:47 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 The Economy and Relationships http://www.couplesnotes.com/wordpress/2010/10/the-economy-and-relationships/ http://www.couplesnotes.com/wordpress/2010/10/the-economy-and-relationships/#comments Fri, 08 Oct 2010 18:11:06 +0000 Merry Frons http://frons.com/?p=212 An article in the  New York Times article, Husbands-Wives-Hard-Times a few months ago during the depths of the recession polled 5 authorities on their opinions about how this difficult economic climate was affecting relationships. Of course the economy takes its toll on relationships as all  environmental stressors do. But as one of the experts noted, . . . → Read More: The Economy and Relationships]]> An article in the  New York Times article, Husbands-Wives-Hard-Times a few months ago during the depths of the recession polled 5 authorities on their opinions about how this difficult economic climate was affecting relationships. Of course the economy takes its toll on relationships as all  environmental stressors do. But as one of the experts noted, expressing verbal appreciation for one’s partner is especially crucial in these times. A ratio of five positive comments to every negative or neutral comment is one of the main characteristics of happy and thriving relationships, as we noted in the post on the Magic 5-1 Ratio. This information comes from the relationship guru John Gottman, whose research on couples dynamics is the gold standard of relationship research.  It’s a simple strategy but one that’s often overlooked until a crisis in the relationship surfaces.

]]> http://www.couplesnotes.com/wordpress/2010/10/the-economy-and-relationships/feed/ 0 Healthy Families http://www.couplesnotes.com/wordpress/2009/02/healthy-families/ http://www.couplesnotes.com/wordpress/2009/02/healthy-families/#comments Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:28:00 +0000 Merry Frons http://www.couplesnotes.com/wordpress/?p=245 What we learn growing up has a big influence on how we handle our adult relationships, especially our relationship with a partner or a spouse.  ’Modeling’ is the term used for behaviors we learn by observing.  Inconsistency is one of the characteristics  modeled in dysfunctional families.  When one grows up observing inconsistency between what is . . . → Read More: Healthy Families]]> What we learn growing up has a big influence on how we handle our adult relationships, especially our relationship with a partner or a spouse.  ’Modeling’ is the term used for behaviors we learn by observing.  Inconsistency is one of the characteristics  modeled in dysfunctional families.  When one grows up observing inconsistency between what is said and the behaviors one observes in one’s parents, issues with trust,  confusion and lack of confidence are the typical results.

What I’d like to talk about in this post is the characteristics that are important for healthy families.  Stephanie Covington, an author and addictions expert, has listed the following 6 characteristics of healthy families.

1.  Commitment – the family is a priority.

2.  Emotional and spiritual wellbeing that fosters trust and the giving and receiving of love.

3.  Open and consistent communication – verbal and non-verbal.

4.  Appreciation that is expressed for others in the family.

5.  Quality family time.

6. Healthy responses to conflict and crisis.

These characteristics are important as continual awareness checks.  We all get caught up in our responsibilities from time to time.  But coming back and staying grounded in this vision can help us correct course when we drift off track.

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