Better Communication
Many Couples Give Up Without Really Trying
An article in the New York Times cited the statistic that two-thirds of couples from a recent study never got counseling before deciding to divorce. The article makes the point that couples can struggle with an issue that can have a simple fix that they are not aware of from their perspective. Leaving the issue [...]
What is Sex Therapy?
A good article by Dr. Madeleine Castellanos answers your questions about sex therapy. Dr. Castellanos makes the point that the sooner a couple addresses the problems in their relationship the better the chance that they may be solved.
7 Kinds of Intimacy
When we speak of intimacy some people think of sex, some think of emotional support. I came across a list of 7 different kinds of intimacy or perhaps it could be termed 7 components that are often present in a satisfying and intimate relationship. Here they are: Emotional: Sharing of significant meanings and feelings with [...]
Talking does increase sense of connection
Neural imagining demonstrates that talking and listening actually increases the sense of connectedness. The mirroring technique in Imago can increase the connection in your relationship. When you feel disconnected from your partner do your make an attempt to connect?
After the Storm
Esther Perel, a New York psychotherapist and author of Mating in Captivity, writes about 3 patterns she has noted in couples relationships after an affair.
The Magic 5-1 Ratio
The marital and relationship expert, John gottman, is known for his 5-1 ratio of positive to negative statements between partners as a necessity in marital or relationship harmony. This ratio can predict the success or failure of a relationship. Gottman arrives at his conclusions from a longitudinal study that uses videotapes of real couple interactions [...]
Easy Skill for Relationship Repair
Real relationships go through cycles of harmony, disconnection and repair. Hopefully those cycles will become gentle slopes and not peaks and valleys as partners learn the skills of relationship repair. One essential skill is communicating relationally where the intention is, not just expressing your point of view, but repairing a disconnect with your partner. The [...]
It May Sound Sexist
I do notice general differences in the way men and women approach resolution of issues. The generalizations don’t always hold true but I do think that there are certain observations that are helpful to keep in mind. In my practice I observe men compartmentalizing issues in a way that’s different from many women’s response to [...]
Keeping Your Balance on the Tightrope
Many clients come to therapy because they are fixated on either the past or the future. Their focus on what might happen in the future creates anxiety. What happened in the past colors their thoughts and limits their ability to be ‘in the moment’. This is where the practice of mindfulness, the ability to focus [...]
